"Buckaroo" Humor & Poems

Dr. "Cowboy Lee" Homoki - Riding for the Brand - LJC †

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Horse Head
Cowboy Stories, Poems and Humor...Found Here!
My Horse

Heaven holds a place for my horse
Standin' straight and strong and tall.
All the paths we've taken; even when her legs were achin’
She never let’s me down at all.

God was great when He made my horse...
Perfect since she was a foal.
Ranchin' skills to master; no horse learned-'em faster
There's a bonfire in her soul.
 

Chorus:
So, Lord don't take my horse too early
We've got lots of work to do.
Chasin' cattle, lots of ropin', and it's silly but I'm hopin'
I can ride her all the way to You.
 

I'm at home when I'm on my horse.
Across the prairies we will fly.
With her nostrils flarin' and the people starin'  
We could race into the sky.

Chorus...instrumental...chorus twice to end


© Copyright Tony Funderburk 2008
Used by permisson from Tony who is a friend and a member of the Denver Bible Church.
He has a very intersting music ministry. Please check out his Web Sites
www.tonofuntunes.com

Media

The Cowboy Boots

(Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this)


Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?  He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on.

 

By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Teacher, they're on the wrong feet.'  She looked, and sure enough, they were.  It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as, together; they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet.

 

He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.' She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, 'Why didn't you say so?', like she wanted to.  Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.

 

No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, 'they're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em.' Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

 

Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?' He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots.' She will be eligible for parole in three years!

 


Out Where the West Begins

By Anna Farris

 

Out where the handclasps are a little stronger

Out where the smile dwells a little longer

That’s where the West begins


Out where the sun is a little brighter

Where the snows that fall are a trifle whiter

Where the bonds of home are a wee bit tighter

That’s where the West begins


Out where the skies are a trifle bluer

Out where friendships are a little truer

That’s where the West begins


Out where a fresher breeze is blowing

Where there is laughter in every streamlet flowing

Where is more of reaping and less of sowing

That’s where the West begins


Out where the world is making

Where fewer hearts with despair are aching

That’s where the West begins


Where there is more of singing and less of sighing

Where there is more giving and less of buying

And a man makes friends without half trying

That’s where the West begins

 

 


A Cowboy's Secret To Long Life

A tough old cowboy from Arizona, counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103 when he died.

He left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grand-children, 25 great-great-grandchildren.
 
He also left a 15 foot crater where the crematorium used to be!


Cowboy Philosophy

*Don't squat with your spurs on.

*Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

*Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

*If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

*If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

*After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him......The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

*Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

*There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

*If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

*Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.

*It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

*Always drink upstream from the herd.

*When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

*When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

*The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

*Never miss a good chance to shut up.


CODE OF THE COW COUNTRY
 

It don’t take such a lot o’ laws to keep the rangeland straight

Nor books to write ‘em in, ‘cause there are only six or eight

The first one is the Welcome Sign, written deep in Western parts

My camp is yours and yours is mine in all cow country parts

Treat with respect all womankind, same as you would your sister

Care for neighbors’ strays you find, and don’t call cowboys ‘Mister’

Shut the pasture gates when passin’ through, an’ taking all in all

Be just as rough as pleases you, but never mean nor small

Talk straight, shoot straight; never break your word to man nor boss

 Plumb always kill a rattlesnake; don’t ride a sore-back hoss

It don’t take law nor pedigree to live the best you can

These few is all it takes to be a cowboy an’- a man!


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